Pint sized fascist Tommy Robinson spent most of this week announcing via his Telegram account (he’s banned on all other social media platforms) that he had a BIG SECRET to announce on Thursday. He assured his rather naive online audience that this would be an announcement worth waiting for.
The promise of Tommy’s BIG SECRET might have been enough to keep his fash fan boys agog with bated breath but to the rest of us this BIG SECRET was common knowledge. Tiny Tears had decided to throw his hat into the political arena and was planning to stand as an Independent for the North West MEP candidacy.
Tommy told Avi Yemeni to publicise that the full MEP salary would be donated to a charity for child victims of sexual grooming (presumably once he had checked to ensure none of them had been abused by EDL members who he has consistently failed to condemn or target). This alone shows clearly that the whole MEP candidacy is a gimmick. Nobody seriously believes Robinson will be elected an MEP. Tommy is dedicated to the cause of grifting. No way would he be willing to allow the easy profits of a cushy EU job to slide through his grubby little grasping fingers.
There was some speculation as to whether Tommy (real name Stephen Yaxley Lennon) would be allowed to stand as a candidate under his thug pseudonym. (It has since been verified that he is).
And discussion as to whether anybody with Tommy’s extensive criminal history would be considered as an acceptable prospective political candidate…
But speculation about his eligibility was to be only the first of many hurdles that Tommy’s foray into politics was set to face. It turned out that he planned to make his BIG SECRET announcement at a public barbecue in the Wythenshawe district of Manchester and first, in order to really get his crowd onside, he planned to ply them with free burgers before showing them a video explaining why they should vote for him. Trouble was though that he hadn’t bothered asking for permission to use the land…
And then it turned out that not only did Wythenshawe Community Housing Group not want him, nor did any of the local communities…
Of course Tommy’s predictable response to all this was simply to ignore the will of the people (lol) and turn up anyway.
So Tiny Tears turned up in a van with a load of (halal?) burgers and started giving them free away to the local residents. Unfortunately Tommy was either not acquainted with electoral protocol or had decided he was above the law. Because inducing people to vote for a candidate based on giving them things for free – known as ‘Treating‘ – is actually a criminal offence. At Resisting Hate we had worked this one out already and were all set to make our formal complaint to the Electoral Commission the following day. However the police were actually alerted at the time of the barbecue by a third party and Tommy was told to stop buying votes with burgers!
Naturally Resisting Hate and many others will be following up this issue with the Electoral Commission using the argument that Robinson has disqualified his own candidacy by breaking election law.
After the great burger drama Tommy turned to the point of the evening, his BIG SECRET. Bit of a damp squib as it was all over the press by this point. He had a video to show but unfortunately his tec team were to let him down yet again and he had another embarrassing technology failure. Fortunately this time he appears to have taken my advice and not treated his audience to a bizarre and random screening of his wedding video.
Then there were the issues with his political cronies. Now most of the fash fighting on this matter has been taking place behind closed doors. But apparently Tommy has ruffled quite a few feathers by splitting the far right vote. It’s no secret that Tommy isn’t Nigel Farage’s greatest fan but he does claim to be pals with UKIP leader Gerard Batten who is allegedly not particularly pleased in private that Robinson is stealing his thunder.
And then, just when Tommy was probably starting to think that the worst was over, Twitter (with a little help from quite a few thousand anti hate activists) decided to suspend the political campaign account that proclaimed it most definitely and certainly was 100% not run by Tommy himself…but which we all knew was.
And that gloomy cloud over Tommy’s bigot barbecue shows no signs of blowing over yet as there are more troubles on the horizon for the hapless hater. He is back in court next month for his Contempt of Court trial which could result in a maximum jail sentence of up to two years. Anything over 12 months will disqualify him from standing as an MEP. He may also face criminal charges for electoral fraud which could result in a further year’s imprisonment and/or an unlimited fine. Oh and he’s being sued for defamation too.
Better make sure you eat those burgers Tommy, you could be a long time on the all tuna diet…